chippedsoul | The Journal [Inbox]

Still... [ Susato trails off guiltily. Perhaps in her mind, she is thinking of all that Ryusei has accomplished for her tonight... She glances back, but in the end, is only motivated to get dressed more quickly. Find her again. 'Course, she hadn't been the only one. Seeing Ziggy and Ruby near her clothes like guard snakes, she softens as she greets them. ]

Not to worry, I'll take good care of him.

[ Not exactly thinking about the fact that Kazuma easily turn back. Her shoulders roll as she closes in on the sink and the make-shift snake bath. Probably as cold as Kazuma now... ]

You're so cold, though. Maybe you want a warm soak as well while I get dressed.

[He hums quietly.] I probably sshould. [It's a struggle to wiggle himself from around her neck. Both because he's comfortable, and sluggish from being cold.]

You were inside an iceberg in your dream.

. . . [ For a while, Susato doesn't say anything at all. She quietly goes through the motions of dumping out the cold water from the bowl, then turns the faucet to replace it with fresh, warm water. She runs her hand through as the bowl fills up, just to test it, and gives Ziggy and Ruby a look as well in case they'd like to join him for another round.

Then she's just staring into the water again, her reflection faint and rippling. ]

Yes. In reality as well... I fell through the lake, and it...

[ Choosing her words carefully. By the end of the night, Eustace already felt guilty enough that he had done that on purpose. ]

It froze over.

[He might have curled up more against her at the mention of the lake freezing over. That must have been the "nearly died" part, why she came back a bit damp and cold. Even as he freezes, his anger is bubbling beneath. He nearly lost her, and he couldn't be there to prevent it. She went off to face danger she shouldn't have and he didn't stop her. Many scenarios float through his mind, as he tries so hard not to lash out at Susato-]

Why couldn't you have ssend word ssooner? There was a Noctaere! [Too late]

[ Perhaps it would have been different if he had been in his human form. Susato's expression hardens at Kazuma's outburst, rather than shrink as it seems so natural for her to do. Fingers grip tightly to the bowl of water, and her frustration at Eustace and by extension the entire night seems to bubble to the surface along with Kazuma's anger. Poor Ziggy and Ruby, meanwhile, for however quickly they were lured by the steam rising from the water, smartly do an about-face just as quickly.

They may not have had Susato's history with Kazuma, but they are just as in tune with his moods and fluctuating emotions. At the very least, he seems to be warming up now. They both are. ]

Well, excuse me for being a touch preoccupied.

[ She doesn't yell, but her voice seems uneven. She twists the faucet closed, and the sudden silence without the running water seems deafening. ]

Other than telling me to stay home that night, did you send word? [ Maybe Kazuma's memory of that night had remained hazy. Perhaps that makes this unfair, but the image of Kazuma, bloodied and battered, never quite left her mind. ]

I didn't realize there would be a Noctaere involved when you went to help Tifa. Even if it wasn't your intention, you've never had actual combat experience, you're a civilian. [He hisses in retort.]

I've been ssupportive of your decisions, but this was reckless. Putting your life in danger, knowing it's beyond your own capabilitiess alone. [At his point, is he mad at Susato, himself? Or this was just him expressing how distressed he is at the thought he almost lost her and he wasn't there to do anything about it.]

[ Craning her neck to try and look at him has started to get uncomfortable. She lifts the shoulder he's perched himself on to nudge him, and she finally becomes frustrated enough that she reaches for him with her hand.

She'll place him into the nice warm bowl, then slams her hands at the side of the sink as she meets his eyes. ]

I was not alone, and you've avoided my question. I don't wish to hear a lecture about recklessness from you. Don't you think I know my place?

I did not go with the intention of confronting Eustace like you would have. I kept my distance.

[ A pause, and she finally snatches up her clothes, allowing her empty rose necklace to fall to the floor. ]

...I was looking for Tifa.

[Well, he's not going to bite her when she picks him up. So he just goes along with being forcibly removed and into the bowl. Tongue flicking as he stares back up at her.]

I believe you, but that doesn't mean the threat wasn't sstill there. [He just had to stubbornly get the last say in. The heat of the water is helping him calm down a little. He's no better about going off into danger without much warning afterall. She had others, even if he wasn't there. He curls up, taking a moment before saying anything else, listening to her.] Did he find you during your sssearch...?

[ Very stubborn, always having to get the last word. Typical of Kazuma Asogi, but at the very least, the water has served its purpose. Susato lets him have that satisfaction, but then rewards him by removing and tossing the towel atop his bowl, probably catching on his cute little head in the process.

No peeking.

She answers him while putting on the fresh clothes he picked for her. ]

...After.

[ Within the safety and warmth of their home, she feels a little less weird about it. It helps that he's chosen very comfy, roomy pajamas that are somehow warm, like they've just been pulled out of a modern-day drier. ]

She was... trapped within ice as well, along with two of Eustace's corgis. I helped free them all, but... he just knew. [ How...? ] The cavern wasn't divided as we'd been led to think, and he broke through a large wall that led him right to us.

Edited 2022-09-23 05:18 (UTC)

[Oof. Right, he gets it. The tip of his snout disappears beneath the towel, finally starting to relax in the warm waters.]

Iss that when you fell into the lake? While getting away?

. . . [ He may not see her, but the question stops Susato's in her tracks. How does she answer him? She can practically see all different ways, but getting dressed only buys her about a minute, maybe half. She continues in careful movements, voice even as she speaks. ]

No, that was... [ Much later. ] Eustace, he... He was not in his right mind. So I had to use the Dawn flowers on him, but he managed to...

...the surface of the lake collapsed before they fully took effect.

Edited 2022-09-23 20:58 (UTC)

...You don't need to protect him. I understand how noctaeres can be. [Eustace must have done something terrible for her to be rather hesitant to give certain details.]

You were calling for your father, in your nightmare.

Oh... [ Did she?

Still, it wasn't about protecting Eustace. She just sees no need to upset Kazuma more than he already was. There is no immediate verbal response, just a thoughtful silence and some grunts as sleeves are pulled and fabric is straightened.

Then footsteps, as she approaches the bowl to take back the towel. Her hair is still wet (though at least not dripping), so the best place for it to be is draped over her back. ]

I saw him. But I don't think... [ It sure was a long time, there underneath the ice. Perhaps she did think about him, but that would have been it. As she reaches for her rose bottle necklace that fell onto the floor, she can still imagine a bright light emanating from it. ]

. . . [He raises himself slightly from the water bowl.] Could you take me to my room?

[Enough time must have passed that he could at least return to some normal appearance.]

[ Whatever she might have said to finish the sentence is lost. She could have waited for the opportunity to refill the necklace at home before putting it back on, but she decides that around her neck is the safest place for it. She'll worry about that later. ]

Of course. [ She'll offer her arm. Not sure how she should feel at the moment, but it sure doesn't feel like the end of that conversation. ]

[No, it's not, but he didn't feel it needed to go further. Not with the implications as to why her father appeared in the nightmare. He glances at that empty bottle as he starts slithering up her arm. A moment's pause as he ends up sneezing. Can snakes even sneeze? Well he sure did.]

I just want to get a change of clothesss.

[ ...She certainly did not read about any snake's sneezing habits in any of the books she has lost herself in, but somehow, she's charmed regardless. Stupid, cute Kazuma.

Once he's settled on her shoulder, she sees no reason to linger, so she makes her way past her own room and into his.

Her eyes fall upon the lily first and foremost, but next to it sits the bottle charm, still full of colour and life (and most importantly, origami cranes). ]

You have to change back first, correct?

[His room is rather neatly kept, hardly occupied besides to sleep. Though there are few trinkets here and there that stand out in the plainness. A handmade blanket, a gaudy looking floor cushion, and a faintly glowing pendent sitting on it's own near his bedside with the bottle charm.]

I do. If you don't mind... [She'll feel him move around and off her shoulder, onto the nearest cabinet, looking up at her expectantly.]

[ Fair is fair. Before she gives him his space however, she stares back at him while reaching for his protection charm, hand coming into contact with the pendant in the process. Perhaps either would work. Perhaps neither would.

...Perhaps she should just shove both necklaces on him for good measure, but after placing the bottle charm around his little snake head, she's going to hope that's enough. ]

There. Maybe it will help in some way.

[ Transforming back... She doesn't know what to expect. Before, he'd been stuck with various snake features for weeks. But she will turn around, closing her eyes and covering them like some game of hide and seek. ]

[Glad she did not decide to make him have two necklaces around him, because one already looks ridiculous on his small snake form. He hums amusingly at her attempts to help him.]

Perhapsss [Though his understanding of her charm is that it has only worked when he was in danger. He's not at the moment, technically. Susato will hear a sort of poof sound and some shuffling of feet. Kazuma has at least return to his normal height. His eyes are still yellow and ears pointed though, and there's traces of snake scales still lingering on his skin. Either way, it's an improvement. Once he's gotten some clothes on, Susato will feel his arms come up and wrap around her from behind. He lets out a long tired sigh. Whatever frustrations he had before, it seems to have been overridden by the feeling of relief, that she is still here with him.]

[ She recognizes that poof. Curiosity gets the better of her and she creates a crack between her fingers, all the while convincing herself not to peek just yet. There's the shuffling of feet... The opening of a closet door, perhaps. Fabric... Her hands fall further and further from her face until she can feel the sudden embrace, beginning at her waist.

Her back straightens, and you can almost hear her demeanor crack as she lets out that breath. It starts out as relief. Why wouldn't it be...? She wants to stay like this forever.

But then, as she turns around slowly to face him, she can feel tears forming in her eyes. ]

[ A cacophony of thoughts echo in her mind. Stop this, stop crying. Just don't. He's right here. Don't you realize how lucky you are? Aren't you being selfish?

All she can do is bury her face in his chest, giving in to it all. Her fingers grip at the warmth of his fresh clothes. How could her father up and decide to leave her, yet again? How could Eustace decide to do that to Tifa...? To his friends?

None of this is fair.

None of this is just. ]

Edited 2022-09-27 01:54 (UTC)

[Ah. The crying was not expected. But maybe...she was holding in a lot more than she led on and needed this. A soft look as he squeezes her gently.]

I'm here. [Just a vocal reminder that she isn't alone, he's here for her. He tugs her gently in the direction of the bed, in case she wants to just sit down, let it out.]

[ Not exactly what she pictured upon coming home, either. It may be a blessing that it didn't happen sooner. Either way, she'll follow his warmth as she always has until they're both sitting on his bed. She's quiet about it, all things considered: just sniffles punctuated by the occasional whimper that she can't stop, though it's clear she's trying.

She tries to even her breath, pulling back, but she can't bring herself to look at Kazuma's face. ] I know.

[ I miss him. The words are right there, at her lips. Perhaps Kazuma would know better than anyone how it feels, yet she can't bring herself to say those simple words either. ]

[He's considering getting them something warm to drink, but that would mean leaving Susato alone and he's definitely not interested in doing that anytime soon. But maybe something to visit once she's had time to calm down.]

Let it all out. You'll feel better afterwards. [He rubs her back, getting the feeling she was trying to stop herself from making more of a scene. But in this home, no one is going to judge her. She's been through a lot, lost someone recently.]

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