chippedsoul | The Journal [Inbox]

. . . [He raises himself slightly from the water bowl.] Could you take me to my room?

[Enough time must have passed that he could at least return to some normal appearance.]

[ Whatever she might have said to finish the sentence is lost. She could have waited for the opportunity to refill the necklace at home before putting it back on, but she decides that around her neck is the safest place for it. She'll worry about that later. ]

Of course. [ She'll offer her arm. Not sure how she should feel at the moment, but it sure doesn't feel like the end of that conversation. ]

[No, it's not, but he didn't feel it needed to go further. Not with the implications as to why her father appeared in the nightmare. He glances at that empty bottle as he starts slithering up her arm. A moment's pause as he ends up sneezing. Can snakes even sneeze? Well he sure did.]

I just want to get a change of clothesss.

[ ...She certainly did not read about any snake's sneezing habits in any of the books she has lost herself in, but somehow, she's charmed regardless. Stupid, cute Kazuma.

Once he's settled on her shoulder, she sees no reason to linger, so she makes her way past her own room and into his.

Her eyes fall upon the lily first and foremost, but next to it sits the bottle charm, still full of colour and life (and most importantly, origami cranes). ]

You have to change back first, correct?

[His room is rather neatly kept, hardly occupied besides to sleep. Though there are few trinkets here and there that stand out in the plainness. A handmade blanket, a gaudy looking floor cushion, and a faintly glowing pendent sitting on it's own near his bedside with the bottle charm.]

I do. If you don't mind... [She'll feel him move around and off her shoulder, onto the nearest cabinet, looking up at her expectantly.]

[ Fair is fair. Before she gives him his space however, she stares back at him while reaching for his protection charm, hand coming into contact with the pendant in the process. Perhaps either would work. Perhaps neither would.

...Perhaps she should just shove both necklaces on him for good measure, but after placing the bottle charm around his little snake head, she's going to hope that's enough. ]

There. Maybe it will help in some way.

[ Transforming back... She doesn't know what to expect. Before, he'd been stuck with various snake features for weeks. But she will turn around, closing her eyes and covering them like some game of hide and seek. ]

[Glad she did not decide to make him have two necklaces around him, because one already looks ridiculous on his small snake form. He hums amusingly at her attempts to help him.]

Perhapsss [Though his understanding of her charm is that it has only worked when he was in danger. He's not at the moment, technically. Susato will hear a sort of poof sound and some shuffling of feet. Kazuma has at least return to his normal height. His eyes are still yellow and ears pointed though, and there's traces of snake scales still lingering on his skin. Either way, it's an improvement. Once he's gotten some clothes on, Susato will feel his arms come up and wrap around her from behind. He lets out a long tired sigh. Whatever frustrations he had before, it seems to have been overridden by the feeling of relief, that she is still here with him.]

[ She recognizes that poof. Curiosity gets the better of her and she creates a crack between her fingers, all the while convincing herself not to peek just yet. There's the shuffling of feet... The opening of a closet door, perhaps. Fabric... Her hands fall further and further from her face until she can feel the sudden embrace, beginning at her waist.

Her back straightens, and you can almost hear her demeanor crack as she lets out that breath. It starts out as relief. Why wouldn't it be...? She wants to stay like this forever.

But then, as she turns around slowly to face him, she can feel tears forming in her eyes. ]

[ A cacophony of thoughts echo in her mind. Stop this, stop crying. Just don't. He's right here. Don't you realize how lucky you are? Aren't you being selfish?

All she can do is bury her face in his chest, giving in to it all. Her fingers grip at the warmth of his fresh clothes. How could her father up and decide to leave her, yet again? How could Eustace decide to do that to Tifa...? To his friends?

None of this is fair.

None of this is just. ]

Edited 2022-09-27 01:54 (UTC)

[Ah. The crying was not expected. But maybe...she was holding in a lot more than she led on and needed this. A soft look as he squeezes her gently.]

I'm here. [Just a vocal reminder that she isn't alone, he's here for her. He tugs her gently in the direction of the bed, in case she wants to just sit down, let it out.]

[ Not exactly what she pictured upon coming home, either. It may be a blessing that it didn't happen sooner. Either way, she'll follow his warmth as she always has until they're both sitting on his bed. She's quiet about it, all things considered: just sniffles punctuated by the occasional whimper that she can't stop, though it's clear she's trying.

She tries to even her breath, pulling back, but she can't bring herself to look at Kazuma's face. ] I know.

[ I miss him. The words are right there, at her lips. Perhaps Kazuma would know better than anyone how it feels, yet she can't bring herself to say those simple words either. ]

[He's considering getting them something warm to drink, but that would mean leaving Susato alone and he's definitely not interested in doing that anytime soon. But maybe something to visit once she's had time to calm down.]

Let it all out. You'll feel better afterwards. [He rubs her back, getting the feeling she was trying to stop herself from making more of a scene. But in this home, no one is going to judge her. She's been through a lot, lost someone recently.]

[ Hearing his voice helps. The shakiness in her voice starts to subside, but she's still shaking her head. Her hands start to wander; straightening the collar of his shirt, brushing at the wetness from her tears, however futile that may be.

When she reaches his charm, the bottle feels cold. She runs her thumb against its surface. ]

No, it's alright. [ Her voice hardens, though her shaky breath betrays how fragile it she truly feels. ] It's been weeks, after all. Some nights are just more difficult than others without him.

It's your father. [How long they've been gone doesn't mean anything. He'll lean in close, using the sleeve of his clothes to help wipe a few tears away.]

I don't think anyone would fault you for needing more time. [His hand holds onto the hand that is free.] I don't.

[ Her eyes automatically close at the gesture. She feels better, calmer; the tears wiped away are not as easily replaced with new ones. Once he is done and she feels his hand pulling away from her face, she reaches for it.

Time... There's never enough time. ]

He once told me was proud of me. I suppose it is fortunate that he is not here to change his mind.

He'd still be proud of you. [No. We're not even going to consider traversing that thought.]

He'd probably scold you to be more careful, but I never had the impression he has ever stopped you from doing what's important to you.

[ No, he's right. Even if she had decided to stay in London with Kazuma, father likely wouldn't have objected, but that feels beside the point. Susato seems uncertain, shaking her head. ]

...I don't know.

[ Maybe they'll never know for sure now. Her voice is small, though her lips twitch into a slow-blooming smile, as if being reminded of a pleasant memory. ]

But I do remember something else he said that day.

[They may never know, but he's confident her father wouldn't think so poorly of her that he would be so disappointed. A tilt of his head.]

What else?

He said... [ She trails off, lost in her thoughts. Maybe for a moment, she can taste the sweetness of the fruit sandwiches she packed them for lunch. She remembers swallowing her fear of his reaction; the overwhelming desire to be completely open with him taking over. ]

He said you are a good man.

[He blinks. Whatever he had expected, it was not that. Vaguely he recalls their conversation in the garden. How Mikotoba didn't shun him after what happened that night, when he returned a bloody mess of a beast. And now he's dating her daughter, which seems to be more than enough of an indication that what Susato says is likely true. He chuckles lightly, leaning into her.]

Who is trying to comfort who now?

[ Hearing him chuckle definitely does wonders to brighten her features. She leans into him in return, her head finding her favorite spot at the crook of his neck. She nuzzles lightly, her hair tickling his chin. ]

Your comfort is my comfort. Besides, he's correct. [ Won't rest until he believes it, too. ]

Hm. Perhaps. [He lets out some air, content with holding onto Susato like this. What happened prior is in the past. They are okay now.] Thank you for telling me.

Mmm. [ They're okay, she's okay. There might have been a "you're welcome" mumbled somewhere in there, but it was probably forgotten as soon as it was uttered. It's amazing how quickly the night's events are catching up to her.

She doesn't know what time it is, but she can feel the gentle rays of the sun against her closed eyelids as it slowly rises. ]

Thirsty. [ Another mumble. As it turned out, crying has that effect, though she makes no attempt to get up or free him from their position. Good luck, Kazuma. ]

[Thirsty, huh? Well that would require him to get up, and she doesn't look like she's going to let him go anytime soon.] Hm, all right....

[This is absolutely not what she meant at all, but he's leaning in to give her a kiss on the lips.]

[ No reaction at first. Perhaps she has already dozed off in that moment, but then there's a quiet moan against his lips as she stirs. Her own lips probably feel cracked and dry, but nevertheless, she seems to return the gesture, leaning into the kiss as her eyes flutter open in slow blinks. ]

......

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