chippedsoul | The Journal [Inbox]

[ Susato is determined not to be scared of him. She doesn't remember when she made the decision. After seeing him as a snake, perhaps. Even so, she finds it difficult to maintain her neutral composure when he grabs her arm. Startled, she feels like her heart stops, for just that moment. When he lets her go, she breathes more easily again.

Though she still feels like he's stolen the words from her. (Rude.) She should've been the one to ask him that. What is she supposed to say now? ]

I shouldn't have startled you. [ Somehow she manages to apologize without saying it outright. Points for her. ] I merely wanted to pull you out of... whatever that was.

Ah no...it's good that you did. [He shakes his head. Still getting his bearings as he straightens up on the bench.]

I didn't mean to fall asleep here anyway. [He's still looking at her with concern, glancing at her arm.] Your arm. [He really hopes he hadn't left a bruise on her.]

[ When he straightens up, she decides to take the seat next to him, taking a wary glance at that same arm. She can still feel it stinging, tingling as she lifts it up, just to see how it feels. ]

...I can take it.

[ She makes a fist, turning over her wrist once or twice before resting her arm again. ]

Do you need more time? There are always some teas I can try, or...

[ Kind of awkward, wanting him to rest more but not wanting to banish him to whatever nightmarish hellscape he's created. She'll still offer what she can, the part of her that is still 16 clinging to the idea that there are few problems tea cannot solve. ]

[That didn't really answer his question, Susato. As he still frowning a little at her. But fine, he'll leave it be for now.]

Tea does sound nice right now, but...was there something you need me for?

Must I have a reason? ...Or a need?

[ Susato frowns. Inwardly, she wonders if it is not enough that she is just worried about him, but she can only imagine how he must tire of being fussed over, even in the few short months she's been here. Outwardly, she looks thoughtful, as if she wants to give a reason that's good enough.

...She was originally going to wait until their walk back to her home, when business for the day was done, but... ]

Ah. Actually, I do have one.

[He blinks.] ...No I suppose not, but considering where we are... [He thought he needed to check something with the restaurant, or the garden? Simple assumption. He was about to say not to worry, but then Susato conintued.]

Yes?

[ At the reminder, she does take a glance around the garden; but she simply shakes her head, quietly reaching into her sleeve to pull out what looks like a small necklace. At first glance, whatever is inside the bottle seems to be a rainbow of colors, not unlike a certain other substance Kazuma has given her before. She will hand him the charm, however, and upon closer inspection, he will see that it's actually a bunch of carefully-folded origami cranes.

As with anything done a second time with more practice, these look marginally better (for being squished into a small bottle), but he should probably still not look at them too closely if he can help it. ]

They say the crane lives for a thousand years, and if you're able to make one for each year, you'll be granted a wish. Clearly I'm a few hundred short, but... I did make one of these for 76, to wish him well in his recovery. Something he can carry with him. For protection.

[ A pause for breath, as she tries to convince herself this all isn't completely childish. ]

I thought... if you were going to visit that cave again, or even if you're just out hunting or gathering ingredients, you might like one, too.

[Too late, he's doing just that. He admires the careful craftsmanship to make something so small to fit inside the bottle in the first place. A smile, hiding a chuckle when she explains to him it's purpose.]

What a coincidence, I was looking into a protection charm of sorts. [No he wasn't. But, knowing himself, he can understand her desire to do this for him.] I'm sorry once more, for causing you to worry. [She wasn't looking for the apology, but he still feels bad she's caught in all of this, dealing with him.]

[ ...He really wasn't, and hopefully he doesn't actually think she will fall for that. She nudges him playfully with her elbow, a low chuckle escaping as she speaks. ]

You don't have to do that.

[ Lie. Or apologize. ]

I hope that it works, for both of you... or at the very least, that it is not too much of a burden for you to carry.

A burden? Never. And I'm sure 76 felt the same way when you gave it to him. [He raises the necklace.]

A lot of care and love was put into this. And with the way this world is, no doubt it will convey those feelings through this in some way. [He offers it back to her.] I'd be honor if you could put this on me.

[ Susato stares back at him and the offered necklace in return, momentarily stunned. It feels like her heart starts beating a little faster; her cheeks, a few degrees warmer, though there's no reason for any of that. She simply takes the necklace in her hand, standing back up quietly and bowing her head to him. ]

The honor is mine.

[ She is already undoing the clasp on the necklace as she positions herself behind him. After that, it's just a matter of allowing the bottle to hang in front at his chest as she loops it around his neck.

She lets out a nostalgic laugh, remembering how she had done the same for Ryunosuke just last month. ]

...There. Now you have two pieces of me.

[She might have gotten a peek of some lingering white scales tucked underneath his collar while she was putting on that necklace. He grasp the little bottle in his hand once she finishes.]

Hm. Like you never left me.

[ She does see the white scales. The fact that there had been so much less than before gives her some degree of comfort, but she finds herself idly running her fingers along the affected area, feeling a short patch of reptilian skin.

Quietly (and somehow, gracefully) at his words, she snickers. If only that were true, but it can be nice to dream. ]

76 gave me something in return as well... Sort of.

[ Finally, she comes back around and takes her seat again, next to him on the bench. ]

[Brr. Her fingers unexpectingly brushing along his scales gave him chills for a moment.] Oh? [He idly puts his hand behind his neck.]

What do you mean, sort of? [Was his gift words of wisdom?]

[ Oops. Did that bother him...?

Susato is distracted by this for a moment, but fine, she'll explain. ]

Well, it wasn't something physical... I still found it very touching, though.

[ She hesitates for a moment, wondering if what she was about to do was strange, even for her. But she pulls out her journal anyway, hoping that Kazuma also had his. Taking all the necessary precautions, she imagines a protective lock on the page before she starts writing. (She'll also take a quick glance around the garden.) ]

He gave me his name. Jack.

[Her actions puzzled him for a moment. What would require her to take out the journal? And then it hits him before she even finishes writing. Made him chuckle.]

For him to give you that information, he must truly trust you. Quite an honor. [He leans back, crossing his arm.] Although, I suppose you have seen quite a bit between us.

[ Noooooo, now she feels self-conscious?! For a moment she wonders if he's poking fun at her, but quickly realizes that isn't the case. Even so, the embarrassment is slower to fade. Having served its purpose, she shuts her journal and tucks it away again. ]

I don't know what, in that moment, made him feel like I deserved it, but it is an honor.

[ You wouldn't normally think that, with a name, but Susato really got that sense when the older man told her. ]

It feels... good. To be trusted. No matter how much I've seen though, I always find myself eager to know more. [ That goes for both of them... ]

[. . .Why does it feel like he needs to be doing something here? Like he's put on the spot and needs to step up his trust game.]

I suppose he could see you genuinely care for him, working hard to keep him together. I'm certain he's been on his own for a long time, much longer than me. [He gets it, being able see someone they can rely on for once. He tilts his head, considering her words a little more.] Are you worried you can't be relied on?

[ Putting him on the spot is not her intention, though she's aware enough that she senses the slight change in his demeanor. She doesn't... know how to answer, exactly. She's never been shy before about admitting her own incompetence and shortcomings, but the stakes feel bigger in Reverein, with magic and impossible things that she still doesn't understand. Maybe it's a matter of feeling small, knowing the world is so much bigger than the ocean she crossed, and the country that lay on the other side. ]

He is a soldier with impossible strength. [ It still boggles the mind, the kinds of things they must have done to him to achieve this. ] Father is an amazing professor, and a doctor. And you... you are an incredible swordsman with unwavering Japanese spirit.

If 76 feels less alone with all of us here, then I am glad for it. But I suppose I just wonder what place I could possibly have, standing next to you all.

...Strength doesn't always come from what we can see. It can be the strength to help others from within. [He shakes his head.] You shouldn't try to compare yourself with anyone. We all became the people we are through different circumstances from your own. The only person you should be competing with, is yourself.

[He crosses his arms, thinking for a moment.] Here, you aren't bounded by the laws that restricted you, because you were born a woman. You can learn and discover something about yourself to your heart's desire, and maybe something may come of it. [A shrug.] Eitherway, I never once thought you were lacking in anything. You're the most capable woman I ever met. So I believe you can do whatever is you think you can do.

[ Susato goes quiet as he speaks, glancing to the side at his encouragement. It is all too easy for her to think he's just saying that to make her feel better, but she keeps that thought to herself.

Her time in Reverein has been one of self-discovery and experimentation, for her. She's done things she's never done before: learned to make a fire out in the woods, ate dinner somewhere not and a dinner table. Cooked somewhat professionally, for customers. Practiced martial arts with a longstaff. Which is to say nothing about her apparent affinity for the power of fire itself. ]

I always thought my path as your judicial assistant was set, that I'd never have to worry about being anything else. It was only after I found myself here, facing the impossible, that I started to feel like it was maybe not enough.

[ She pauses. ]

I took the next step though, once. Stood in the courtroom... did I ever tell you that?

After coming here, you say? [Hmm. He leans towards her slightly, speaking in a teasing manner.] Didn't your heart decide to assist another prior? [She and Naruhodo did choose to return to Japan after everything, right?]

And no...you haven't actually. [He raises a brow, pondering as to what she means. Though, knowing her...she found a way.] How was that experience?

[ .......Miserable! Thanks!

But she'll concede to his teasing this time without getting all huffy like before, despite the temptation. Even if they managed to form a council... well, she couldn't see them starting up a law firm here. ]

Terrifying. [ Though she's pretty sure she does remember telling him! At his grave. Oh, well. ] I had to pretend to be a boy... but you gave me strength, thankfully.

Well, both of you.

[ Him, Naruhodo... and, y'know, dear ol' dad. ]

[He makes a sound, unintentionally. Susato, pretending to be a boy. Sure, she came up with her own martial art, but her mannerism is anything but "boyish".]

Ah, sorry. That must have been a difficult ordeal, pretending while also trying to defend someone. I'm glad to hear we were of some assistance, even if we weren't really there. [. . .] Although, what led to you to stand as a defense attorney? [Their country is lacking in defense attorneys, sure, but they really couldn't find anyone?]

... [ She goes quiet for a moment. Even though she wasn't here, and there was no way for her to overhear, she still found it difficult to swallow that not one person would stand in her defense. ] Do you remember my friend, Rei Membami?

[ She'll pause, giving him a moment to consider, but she'll continue and confirm his suspicions after a moment. ]

She found herself on the dock, accused of murder, but father and I couldn't find an attorney to agree to take her case. They were all too concerned, given the political climate at the time. [ Blah blah blah treaty blah blah. ] ...So father and I came up with the idea.

[ ......... ]

Apparently I am quite gallant and dashing in a boys' uniform.

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